Macleans says Tim Hortons is not a defining national institution, and the breakfast sandwich tastes like a dishcloth

Macleans, a Canadian publication owned by Rogers Media, has taken the time to wrote a post about how Canadian life will be OK by the recent Tim Hortons and Burger King partnership. While eight of 10 cups of coffee served in Canada are at Tim Hortons, author Scott Feschuk says that Tim Hortons is not the national institution we all really think it is.

Here’s a few choice words. Don’t believe it all:

“Tim Hortons is not a defining national institution. Rather, it is a chain of thousands of doughnut shops, several of which have working toilets.”

“Tim Hortons is not an indispensable part of the Canadian experience. Rather, it is a place that sells a breakfast sandwich that tastes like a dishcloth soaked in egg yolk and left out overnight on top of a radiator.”

“Tim Hortons is not an anti-Starbucks choice that makes you a more relatable politician or a more authentic Canadian. Rather, it is a great place to buy a muffin if you’ve always wondered what it would be like to eat blueberry air.”

“My point is this, Canada: It’s fine to enjoy Tim Hortons. Some may even say it’s fine to be like my Dad and insist on the old-fashioned plain, the only doughnut that delivers both the flavour and texture of a memory foam mattress.

But don’t get weird about it, OK?”

Yes, Tim Hortons is a business and has to compete on a global scale. While the deal might make sense for its investors, Canadians simply don’t want the product offering to change. We just want our old school Timmies to remain a part of Canadian history.

About Ian Hardy

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I'm obsessed with Tim Hortons. It runs through my veins and I've probably spent enough money downing Steeped Tea's that I could have purchased my own franchise.